Thursday, February 18, 2010

Groundhog Day

So Groundhog Day has come and gone again.

For centuries, people have waited for Punxsutawney Phil or the like to predict the joyous onset of an early spring or the gloomy extension of winter. The custom apparently goes back to pagan times, and though I don’t believe there has been any correlation between the rodents’ predictions and meteorological reality, we still observe this odd “holiday” every year.

But thanks to the 1993 Bill Murray movie of the same name, Groundhog Day has more recently become a catchphrase describing the experience of repeating the same event over and over again. In the movie, an obnoxious news anchor finds himself reliving the same day (which happens to be Groundhog Day) again and again. Each day he is awakened at the same time by Sonny and Cher singing "I Got You Babe" on the clock radio at the inn where he is staying while covering the Punxsutawney groundhog story for his television station. He encounters the same individuals and stumbles over the same hurdles throughout the day, which is particularly frustrating for him as he detests both his news assignment and the locals.

As the mother of two young children, I can relate to the Groundhog Day experience. Often, it seems like every day follows the same routine: Wake up to the sound of children eager to start the day if not exactly to go to school, eat/dress/pack/don shoes/zip coats and trudge out “en famille” to put the eldest on the bus. Feed/change/bathe/dress/play with the baby until naptime. Cram all household chores into limited naptime. Finally sit down just in time for the wake up cries. Feed/change/play with baby until school bus returns at 3:08 pm. Son, dropping backpack, coat, shoes and socks along the way has snack/does homework/plays then returns the way he came, redressing for afternoon activity. Coats/carseats/chauffering until dinnertime, infamously known as the witching “hour” (though it lasts longer) as I prepare dinner for tiring child and hungry adults while separately feeding tiring baby. Bickering ensues. Soon Dad returns, bedtime routines are followed, then it’s time to clean up and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.

The steps are the same, the arguments are the same. Sometimes it seems that the only difference is whether the load of laundry I toss in during naptime is whites or colors.

Weekends, sick days, and vacations are no different as there are still two children to be fed, dressed, entertained, and put to bed. Even if we do manage to go away, there is no real change. It’s just “taking the show on the road” as one mom I know puts it. The same job, even harder, with fewer resources and less familiar surroundings.

The sages of Wikipedia expand the definition of "Groundhog Day" to read “going through a phenomenon over and over until one spiritually transcends it.” This reflects the evolution of the main character in the movie Groundhog Day (named Phil, like the groundhog). At first, he uses his second chances at the day to take advantage of other people, having learned his behavior has no long-term consequences. But as his second chances become third, fourth, and fifth chances, he begins to realize how his different actions affect others and eventually find the merit in kinder, more empathetic behavior. I guess I’m working on that transcendence piece now, to find the bigger good in the daily mundane.

I have heard it said that for parents the days go by very slow (except, I might add, for naptime), but the years go by very fast. And I have noticed that as the kids get older and their days become more structured, it does seem that the weeks just fly by. (I mean, I’m still working on my to-do list for Christmas!)

Maybe it’s not so bad to get the chance to do the same thing over and over— to relive the good experiences like baby belly laughs and “I love yous”, and to get to correct our mistakes, or at least try alternate approaches to overcome parenting challenges or resolve conflicts. One mom I know recently said that her children are teaching her a lot more than she is teaching them. Maybe that’s the design.

It can still be kind of boring, but it’s never truly dull.