Friday, April 1, 2011

Screen Time

My son started playing computer games as soon as he could move his fingers and sit up by himself. He was Mario for Halloween in 2007 at age four, just before the Wii reintroduced Super Mario Brothers to the masses, and well before anyone his age had heard of them. A month later he had a Pac-Man-themed birthday party with handmade décor that nobody recognized but the parents.

But now, Mario is mainstream, and instead of being a kid with a quirky hobby that his peers don’t understand, my son’s interests are finally conventional. I have seen how videogames and computer skills have augmented his creativity, self-confidence, and social development, but I still have a hard time getting past their bad reputation. Why is it that intense focus on computers is considered problematic while intense focus on sports (or most anything else) is good?

So it was with significant personal interest that I attended the Darien Library’s recent talk on kids and videogames, “Everything You Want To Know About Gaming But Were Afraid To Ask”.

Note, I didn’t go to cover this as a story, I have no connection with the speakers, and I am not putting forth anyone’s point of view here but my own. I was there purely as a parent in the technology age, wondering whether I have to continue to feel guilty about hosting playdates in front of the Wii.

The library panel addressed many of the usual concerns about game players, including perceived risks of increased aggression, medical problems (vision issues, seizures, obesity), and social isolation. But I came away with the same lessons we hear again and again in life: "Okay in moderation." and as parents: "Supervise, set limits, and enforce consequences."

It seems the general belief that violent games make violent boys isn’t so clear-cut. Much research focuses on children who play inappropriate games for excessive amounts of time and doesn’t consider environmental factors such as lack of parental supervision in general, which may in turn involve other factors like economics, education, or even parental addictions. Another forgotten element is the temperament of the child. Maybe aggressive kids choose aggressive games, not the other way around. These factors may combine to play a much larger role in leading to a child’s antisocial behavior than the actual video games.

So the panelists encouraged the audience to use ratings to help eliminate inappropriate games (e.g. Call of Duty is rated M for age 17 and up), and set time limits, especially if game-playing is eating up hours usually reserved for homework, extra-curricular activities, socializing, eating, or sleeping. I learned that we can set gaming systems to shut off after a certain amount of playtime or program computers to shut down at a certain time. And we can always unplug our router to eliminate internet access after bedtime. (Although according to 2010 data, the average gamer is a 34-year-old male who has been playing for 12 years – so it may be the husbands who object most to that last step!).

To address concerns of internet predators and cyberbullying, we can put parental controls and screening software on our computers, discuss risks with our children as appropriate, and review their usage to ensure they are not a victim or a bully.

I know it isn’t easy, but the goal is to help them navigate this world until they can make good choices on their own. Because at some point they will be on their own.

On the positive side, if responsibilities are complete and there is proper parental supervision, is it still so bad to spend one’s free time online? Maybe not, according to findings presented by the panelists and in educator James Gee’s recent book, What Video Games Have to Teach Us About Learning and Literacy. Game play has been shown to be a powerful way of learning that helps increase problem-solving abilities, creativity, adaptability, and resiliency. Additionally, like playground play, gaming is child-led, not adult-guided, which builds internal motivation and regulation skills.

In my son, I have seen an interesting shift from playing games to creating them – or at least thinking about creating them. He spends less of his time with controllers in hand and more on websites where he can build his own characters and watch and learn from others’ creations. Offline, he has become more comfortable drawing, writing, and role-playing since he has begun using the game characters as subjects, much like our generation may have done with Barbies or Superman.

Much of the time he spends staring at the screen is reading lengthy stories others have written about the game characters. When he asks me if this counts as his reading homework, I say no, but really, given the proliferation of electronic reading devices like the Kindle, shouldn’t it?

In my last column I wondered when my son would be motivated internally, what spark would drive him to put forth his best effort. But maybe I have been refusing to see that the spark is already there, because it is a fire I don’t understand. As one panelist said, this is our kids’ world. And it is going to get more technological, not less.

And so I ask myself, “What would Bill Gates’ mom do?”