Summer Parenting

Now that we are well in the throes of summer, it has become quite apparent that summer parenting is a lot different than school year parenting, at least in my house.

There is the obvious shift in tasks. Instead of making lunches, waiting at busstops, meeting teachers, supervising homework, and making dinners, my summer parenting seems to consist primarily of packing up, applying sunblock, driving, unpacking, doing laundry, getting fast food, and preparing baths. Every event, be it beach, pool, camp, or party, seems to come with an inordinate amount of mess, mostly wet and sandy. Vacuuming the car should be on the top of my task list, but I admit it hasn’t gotten the kind of regular attention needed, so sometimes climbing in my SUV is akin to sifting through a sandy pile of recyclables. Yuck. But the heat is enough of an excuse to leave it all and run inside.

I have heard parents complain that summer vacation is no vacation for parents. It can certainly seem that summer parenting is harder than parenting the rest of the year, or at least more active. Unscheduled days means more time for parents to entertain or supervise their children, and these hours become even more extended as the sun hovers above the horizon late into the evening. My preschooler truly cannot understand how it can be bedtime when the sky is still light. I try to tell her that her friend Mr. Sun is trying to trick us, but I think she’s in cahoots with him, and I’m the one who gets played.

Many parents have to balance this summer shift within their own unshifting work schedules. Managing alternative childcare options, weekly camp schedules, and summer school programs can be a full-time job in itself. And the process just gets more complicated when you have to remember to pack an ever-changing combination of bathing suits, goggles, tennis racquets, towels, smocks, books, and extra clothes, and of course apply sunscreen before you go. It’s a wonder anybody is on time for anything. (I know I’m not.)

We may be in parenting’s busy season, but I’ll admit that I am letting go in other ways. Maybe it’s all the humidity we’ve been dealing with lately, but I am not at all motivated to fight the usual parenting fights. Rules are less important. Structure can vary widely. The term “meal” encompasses a lot more things.

This morning for breakfast, my daughter asked for ramen noodles, my son for chocolate cake. I said, “Okay” without a second thought and started my day with ease. A conscientious person would note here that the prevalence of fruits and vegetables in the summer make it easy to balance out these poor choices later in the day. More likely in my house I just shifted the consumption of that cake from 4pm to 8 am. It’s okay, it’s summer.

The rainy weather has put a damper on our usual outdoor summer fun as well, and so there has been a lot more time inside with two children that have very different tastes. My daughter wants my non-stop attention, usually to act out some drama melding the world of My Little Pony with the rainforest of Dora the Explorer. In these scenarios, my daughter will play one character then give me all the other roles, dictating my lines and often requiring multiple repetitions of the same scenes. Is it really surprising that after an hour (or less) of this, I may “accidentally” click on the television to put someone else center stage for a bit (or as long as she will watch). It’s okay, it’s summer.

Some afternoons, my son starts playing computer games and I forget about him for hours. I know he will come out when he’s hungry. It’s okay. It’s summer.

If I’m lucky the two above activities will coincide and I can get something done (probably laundry, packing, or unpacking).

For those of you who want to be more productive, the lazy days of summer can offer a great opportunity to help your children learn new skills and reach developmental goals without the pressure of a deadline on their back. There is a lot more time to realize big accomplishments such as learning to ride a bicycle, but also to master smaller tasks, like getting ahead on scout or team requirements, and even to establish new routines. For example, to help your child practice packing up for school, make him responsible for packing for summer outings. He will be able to think broadly about what might be needed easier without anyone yelling “Come on, the bus is coming!!!” and he can make mistakes without dire consequences. Who knows, by the school year, some aspects of packing up may become second nature.

Yes, I hope to teach my young pups some new tricks this month. But I probably won’t. And that’s okay. It’s summer.