Graduation Inspiration

It’s the time of year for graduations, and as a recent college graduation attendee (but distant college grad), I listened with envy at commencement speeches filled with optimistic advice to “dream big” and “reach high” delivered to an audience of blank slates (and I mean that in the best way) who saw only possibilities ahead.

Even in this recession, the newly-minted graduates were encouraged to pursue their passions regardless of practicality (as in “Do what you love and the money will follow.”). All the hopes and challenges of the future were placed squarely on their shoulders, and they seemed eager and willing to take it all on.

Even I, a forty-something mother of two, began to feel like a fresh-faced graduate with dozens of doors open in front of me. I came home recharged, ready to finally conquer my “to do if only…” list and pave my own road to glory. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before I sunk back into my daily routine, unable to find the time to take even one proactive step towards dream fulfillment.

My memories of the commencement speeches returned and with them the envy of the new beginning that comes with school’s end. As adults, it becomes so easy to lose the energy of possibility. We are rarely the audience for inspiring lectures that recognize our hidden potential. We are rarely encouraged to take chances, to venture into unchartered waters, to risk failure.

Instead so many of us who were fearless as young adults become resistant to change. We may believe our paths are etched in stone leaving us no choice but to continue moving (or standing still) on the same track.

True, there are responsibilities and a need for stability that decrease our perceived options, especially once we become parents. But how many of us limit ourselves with our own fears? How many of us have built a wall of insecurities, unrealistic expectations, and perfectionism that prevents us from forging ahead?

I know I have. And I want to break free. So I went online and sought renewed inspiration from commencement speeches of years gone by.

I nodded my head at the insights actor Bradley Whitford shared with University of Wisconsin graduates in 2004: “We all go through life bristling at our external limitations, but the most difficult chains to break are inside us…. You have a choice. You can either be a passive victim of circumstance or you can be the active hero of your own life….”

I considered the suggestion that movie producer Jerry Zucker made at that same school the year prior: “Ask yourself one question: If I didn't have to do it perfectly, what would I try? For many of you, the biggest obstacle to getting there will be a fear that you have carried with you since childhood — the fear of humiliation, of embarrassment, of ridicule….” I contemplated the words he passed on from John Travolta who told him, “…nobody else is paying as much attention to your failures as you are. You're the only ones who are obsessed with the importance of your own life. To everyone else, it's just a blip on the radar screen, so just move on.”

Knowing that I am just as troubled by the fear of success as I am the fear of failure (“If it works, what will I do? How will I balance it all? What will have to be sacrificed?”), I let myself be shaken up by the words of Steven Jobs from his 2005 speech at Stanford University: “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose…. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life….Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”

And as for the eternal quest for happiness, I smiled when I read what psychology professor Marc S. Lewis said to the graduates of the University of Texas Austin in 2000: “The way to be happy is to like yourself and the way to like yourself is to do only things that make you proud.”

So congratulations to all the graduates out there, be it from high school, college, middle school, elementary school, or even pre-school. Your energy, optimism, risk-taking, and good deeds can be inspiring to us all.