Ahhhh, Summer

Ah, summer. School’s out, the weather is warm, the days are long. If only the realities of summer as a parent lived up to the memories of summer as a carefree kid.

My childhood summers consisted of days playing outdoors in a bathing suit that never had time to dry with a backyard and neighborhood full of friends until it got really, really dark. Lying on a lounge chair intentionally browning, coated in suntan oil, fueled by pizza and ice cream, living in the moment, and feeling invincible. Those were the days.

But as a parent – well, let’s just say it’s not my favorite time of year.

Summer is no “vacation” for parents -- instead it is the time when we work the hardest. Before having children, summer’s “longer days” meant time for an evening walk or a glass of wine on the porch after work. Now, they just feel a lot longer than their 24 hours because we have to fill every minute. Also, bedtimes get later, but I am finding that wake up times do not necessarily change (unless you have teenagers, when the best thing about summer vacation is sleeping in).

Juggling multiple children becomes even harder in the summer as younger children must be dragged along with older siblings to and from camps and activities all day long. If a drop-off requires the whole family to actually exit the car, then the challenge becomes to get the stubborn toddler back in the carseat before it is time to return for pickup.

And what happens when one child’s pickup is during another’s naptime? I know I don’t want to have to manage both a tired camper and a cranky baby in my house.

It is hard enough to entertain a seven-year-old and an eighteen-month-old in good moods. It’s not quite fair to say they don’t do the same things, because my daughter would eagerly attempt everything her brother does and then some. Unfortunately, she can’t do everything he does, and often he doesn’t want her to. So then the question becomes how to watch them both while keeping them apart.

Playdates help, but they are also harder to coordinate during the summer months. Back in my day, when school was out you could find everyone in their backyards, but now kids’ varying camp, activity, and vacation schedules make it hard to locate friends.

The summer can be especially difficult for working parents, as their working hours remain the same while their children’s schedules disappear. It can mean months of planning to arrange short-term childcare, and possibly weeks of adjustment for the children. [It is unfortunate that our school schedule has not been adjusted from its agrarian origins to meet the needs of our more industrial society. Just think what it would mean to our family lives if working hours and school hours were more compatible.]

As for taking an actual vacation, well many moms describe this as just “taking the show on the road.” For families with young children, travel means doing the same chores just with fewer resources. I’ve never gone through clothing faster than when on vacation at the beach with no washing machine and humid air that makes a mockery of the term “air dry”. Renting a house for the week? Bring your own towels and sheets, cook and clean up after your meals, vacuum before you leave – when exactly is the relaxing part? And as for entertaining the kids? Well, I used to marvel at how many toys parents would pack just for a weekend visit. Now I find myself in the same boat (or should I say, very crowded car).

Don’t get me wrong, I like summer fun in the sun as much as the next guy….ok, no, I really don’t. My hair is frizzy, my nail polish is forever chipped, and my skin is sweaty. I don’t like to wear a swimsuit in public, to obsessively stalk my children with sunblock, or to feel the sand between my toes (or on my kids, or in my car). I find myself tracking the 69 days until the first day of school just as eagerly as my son counted down the 180 days of the school year. I guess I’m just a summer Scrooge.

But then, as my children and I chase fireflies in our flip-flops one balmy evening, I hear the sound of the ice cream truck and run to track down my wallet before it passes. Ahhhhh, summer!